I've been going back and forth about writing this. Then I realized the posts I enjoy most from other bloggers are the personal ones. About 3 months ago I had my first "pregnancy scare." All of our other kids took months of trying and were planned. I nursed Evie for 12 months, so I didn't have to worry about cycles or fertility. When I weaned her, we went back to using NFP.
I didn't really brush up on the rules and I should have. Then a friend interested in NFP emailed me asking for info about the method. I opened up my reference book to jot a few things down for her and realized I misunderstood one of the "rules." A day that was supposed to be "safe" wasn't.
I panicked and with it came all the "what ifs." The thoughts of how to pay for prenatal care, to what other people would think, to our "plan" being ruined consumed my thoughts and distracted me during work, etc. I felt like that commercial where the lady is trying to go about her life and a stork keeps chasing her down. I was scared and mad at myself, but I could do nothing other than wait it out.
It all turned out to be for nothing. As close as we cut it, I wasn't pregnant. Then the feelings of guilt set in. This isn't what I had been taught, every life is a blessing. Some couples struggle to conceive and here I am so ungrateful. But NFP has A LOT more sacrifices then I ever realized before marriage.
You know how they say you're fertile for only a few days out of the month? Well, you abstain for much more than a few days!! For us, it's more like 2 weeks. Doesn't sound like long? Give it a try ;) Then when it comes to interpreting if its safe or not, it's not a science. You second guess yourself, over analyze, and even then worry did we calculate everything right? I guess that's the part where trusting in God's plan comes in. Sounds cliche when you're sitting in a NFP class before marriage, but actually practicing and living it out is much harder. It's difficult too because not many people practice this form of family planning, so it's hard to find support or advice or even respect for choosing this path.
Anyone else out there ever have an unplanned pregnancy scare? Allowing anonymous commenting for this post, so you can share worry free ;) Just a note that we use NFP to both plan and avoid pregnancy. Our faith doesn't permit contraception.